What to Do When RSVPs Aren't Coming In
Friendly ways to follow up on RSVPs without feeling awkward or pushy — plus how to plan when you still don't have final numbers.
You sent the invitations. The RSVP date came and went. And now you're staring at a half-empty guest list wondering how to plan food for a mystery number of people.
You're not alone. This is the universal party planning frustration.
Why people don't respond
Before you take it personally, understand the reasons:
- They genuinely forgot — life is busy
- They're waiting to see — checking schedules, childcare, etc.
- They think they already responded — they meant to, does that count?
- They don't realize you need a number — especially for informal events
How to follow up (without feeling pushy)
Wait until 2-3 days after the deadline, then reach out personally.
Text template:
"Hey! Just checking if you got the invite to [Child's] party on [date]. No pressure either way — just trying to finalize numbers for food. Let me know!"
Email template:
"Hi [Name], I'm firming up plans for [event] on [date] and wanted to check if you'll be able to make it. Would love to see you there, but totally understand if it doesn't work out. Just let me know when you can!"
Key principles:
- Keep it light and friendly
- Give them an easy out
- Be specific about what you need (just a yes or no)
- Follow up once, maximum twice
Planning without final numbers
If you still don't have answers, here's how to cope:
For food:
- Plan for 80% of invited guests to show up
- Choose foods that scale easily (pizza, finger foods)
- Have a backup plan for extras (freeze, donate, or become tomorrow's lunch)
For activities and favors:
- Prepare for the maximum number invited
- Extras are easier than scrambling
For venue capacity:
- Confirm your venue's maximum, not your expected number
- Better to have space than to squeeze
The no-show buffer
Even confirmed guests sometimes don't show. Build in a 10-15% buffer for last-minute cancellations due to illness, schedule conflicts, or just life happening.
For next time
Make RSVPing as easy as possible:
- Use digital invitations with one-click responses
- Include a specific deadline
- Mention why you need a response ("so we can have enough pizza!")
- Send a reminder a few days before the deadline
The goal isn't perfect attendance tracking — it's reducing your stress while still being a gracious host.
